This is a guest post by Laura Welch
As a woman who has battled infertility for 2 years and recently lost a baby through miscarriage, I can’t help but feel like an invisible mom to the outside world.
I don’t have a baby you can see. I don’t have a child you can babysit. I don’t have a daughter that you can play dress up with. And I don’t have a son you can shoot hoops with. So to the outside world, one would think that I don’t have a child at all. But I do.
Your child might be here on earth – but mine is in heaven.
As a mom whose baby isn’t here on earth, you get asked a lot of questions from people who aren’t aware of your situation and can’t visibly see that you’re a mom.
“When are you having kids?”
“What’s taking you so long?”
“Do you have any kids?”
So many questions. And every single one stings. To answer these questions you feel like you have to go into your whole life story to a complete stranger or even an acquaintance. But instead, you just brush it off, give vague answers and try to change the subject. Leaving, once again, heartbroken as the “invisible mom.”
Heartbroken as the “invisible mom.”
Heartbroken because you desperately want a child in your arms right now.
Heartbroken because you want a lot of babies and it feels like you can’t even have one.
Heartbroken because they don’t realize it takes a lot of time, money, planning, and medicines to even try to conceive – so that’s “what’s taking so long.”
The Hardest Question to Answer
Heartbroken because the hardest question to answer is, “Do you have any children?” Even though the answer is “yes,” explaining to a stranger or acquaintance that you had a miscarriage and now your baby is in heaven, is no easy task. I still struggle with answering that question and to be honest with you, sometimes my answer is “no” or “not yet.” And then I feel guilty for not honoring the life of my baby. There is simply no easy way to answer that question without a flood of emotions.
For me, I have a precious baby who is in the arms of Jesus. A baby who is loved beyond measure and is missed every single day. For you, it might be the same situation – or maybe you’re struggling with infertility and are begging for a child. In my eyes, you too, are a mother.
We might not have babies you can see, but we’re still moms. We’re just invisible moms – to the world.
I’m still struggling with infertility and trying to cope with the loss of our first (and only) baby so I know your pain and sadness. I know how alone it feels to be on this journey. I know how your hope and faith waver from time to time. I know how some days you want to give up. I know you want nothing more than to hold a baby in your arms.
But above all, I know that God is in control. I know that His plans are far greater than our own. And I know that He will use these struggles as a tool for us to help others dealing with the same issues.
So take heart – you may be an invisible mom to the world, but to God and to myself, you aren’t invisible. You are a mom – an amazing mom. Rest in His hope and cling to His promises, sweet momma.
Meet Laura Welch:
I’m originally from a small town in southern Virginia but have lived in Myrtle Beach, SC for almost 11 years. I’ve been married to my best friend (and greatest supporter) for 6 years. My passion is for others to love Jesus and for their marriages and relationships to thrive. My hope is to encourage each other to fight for our marriages, to build each other up, pray for one another through the tough times of life and to help each other grow spiritually. I believe you’ll find my blog to be real, uplifting, funny, insightful and challenging. You can read more over on my blog at https://wifeyforlifey1.blogspot.com.